Monday, 15 February 2010


Well, as experiments go that was interesting. I abandoned this blog nearly two weeks ago in a tidal wave of creative juice. The deal was, that rather than writing for 45 minutes a day and slamming out a sloppy blog, I delegated the Goat-feathers* and sat down and got on with writing The Book. The book, which has attached itself to the side of the womb and will grow, given luck and time.

The result was that I looked for a cleaner, the laundry piled up, the log baskets emptied, the unopened post piled up and little by little the straight jacket buckles tightened. Finally, it was half term and the filthy house was delightfully full of hungry mouths and enquiring minds again. However, I hadn't written a word, and it wasn't just a lack of discipline, it simply that, in the same way that these guys are unable to accept the idea of me wandering off around the world and exploring, they and the running of the house are also not ready to give me indulgent grins as I sit at the computer at the kitchen table for two hours a day writing. Even now there is a mountain of ironing giving me looks from the other side of the room. I just flicked it a 'V'.

So, in the style of the News In Brief columns down the inner margins of the broadsheets,

Last Hen Karks It
The last of the hen bit
the dust at the hand of her
loving owner last Thursday
She was never going to pull
through after the savage
attack of the bastard fox
who is still on the run.

Lunch With Dad

Luce and Roger had lunch
last week. The sun shone.
She had the carpaccio, he had
something else.
Discussions were had about
a consolation trip to Sri
Lanka. Passports and credit
cards were photocopied. He
paid. For everything.

Nina The Cleaner
Luce did her best. Nina's son
was ill. Luce will try again
next week. After she has cleaned
up after half term.

Story of my life, really. Disappointment, consolation, compromise, salvage. It's the same for all of us. x

*'Goat-feathers are the distractions, side lines and deflections that take a man's attention from his own business and keep him from getting ahead.'

Ellis Parker-Butler 1919

1 comment:

  1. So glad I found this - very funny, in a horribly edgy way. Edgy comedy is in vogue these days, no?