Thursday, 9 June 2011

Packing List for the Final Journey

I've been thinking about this concept recently and wondering what would make me RIP. To do this I've been working out what makes me anxious. Opening the post clearly wouldn't be an issue any more, or checking my emails and voicemail. Presumably that would dry up in time. Similarly the build up of basic chores. Some other poor sod would have to take over those. As for, is there sufficient booze in the house for this evening, again, no longer my concern. Anyway, I've decided. I'd like to be buried with my laptop, my iPhone, my keys, my diary, my handbag, sunglasses and a spare set of prescription spectacles. That way, if I woke up,buried, I'd be able to check in my diary that I hadn't missed anything important, check you lot hadn't been bitching about me, and phone for a lift home.

I'm not planning a sudden exit, but just thought I'd mention it.

Secondly, I was asked to use Mindfulness to Urge Surf this evening. I did, for ten minutes. My urge was to have a drink, at six o'clock, as I usually do. Using my new found Buddhist Mindfulness, I Urge Surfed and noted my feelings. I felt I wanted a bloody drink because I have a mild hangover and a drink (beer today I think, often wine, never spirits) would make me feel better. I thought about it for a whole ten minutes as agreed, and then I was outraged to find the ruddy decorator has removed the Coca-Cola bottle opening device from the end of the island unit. Thoughtless bastard. Luckily, my Swiss army penknife was in my handbag and the rapidly escalating situation was in hand within moments. In fact, good point. Can you chuck my penknife in the coffin too, and a beer or too, in case my lift is slow to arrive? It's good to think the beer will be cold, having been six foot under for a while.

And the sunglasses? Well, I assume I'll be looking a bit grungy after my lousy few days and I wouldn't want to be seen out like that, would I?

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