Bach Suites for Cello No2 in D Minor Prelude on damask, with ice.

Oh God, as if thing's weren't already a bit close to the edge.. tonight apparently I have to go and see Avatar in 3D. Boy 16 is having a belated birthday supper party, which thanks to the upsurge in trendy male chefs, he is cooking himself. This is in fact good news because he is genuinely a better cook than I and has far more interest in nutrition in general. I have trained him well and I should really pat myself on the back for that, but I am firstly too stiff after Threading the Needle with Jesus yesterday, and secondly far far too busy beating myself up to stop for a pat.

We missed the dentist by two hours, (I thought the 1 was a doodle so we turned up at 2.30pm) Girl 12 wants a cowhide box for her bedroom so badly she has had the shopkeeper e-mail me with details and dimensions, twice and has been home alone and vomiting (my bug, more guilt) while I was out buying alcohol for underage dinner guests. I paused briefly from speed ironing (similar to speed dating but a little bit less fun, I imagine - you chuck the things you don't have time to do and no one really wants back into the laundry basket) to deliver a short talk on behaviour, alcohol, sleeping arrangements to Boy 16. He laughed, messed my hair, gave me a hug and told me not to worry and that if anything went wrong, he'd call the Allfreys.

This is a family joke. After 7pm I am slightly unreliable and after 8pm his father is asleep. The Allfreys are a very strong, firm, reliable, straight family who live down the hill. If we weren't us, we would be just like them. Occasionally we have partied with the Allfreys and they party very very well, just not everyday. And if Daddy Allfrey ever gets stressed, he seems to hide it better than Darling does. Or perhaps we just wear our hearts on our sleeves. And Mummy Allfrey works so hard and does so much for the community and church. The two Allfrey children are polite and dependable and incredibly bright. Can you feel my pain?

Right now I am typing from a damask table cloth, surrounded by helium balloons looking at some stunning parrot tulips . My DJ is playing me Bach, Cello Suites, which always breaks my heart, because he knows I can't type and listen to lyrics, and my wine waiter (same chap) is bringing me a spritzer with ice. I hope his party goes well.

Back to Avatar. I hate science fiction. And I wear glasses. Like so many things in life, I can't see this working out.