Ok so there are new rules in place, and this is one of them. I was told at lunch today by someone I respect, that I need a 'creative paradigm', and that this should be it. I was warned that, done properly, this might result in me waking up one morning and finding that a million and a half people want to know what is going on in there. This is just what I am looking for. Another kind caring friend told me today that one bottle of dry white a day is enough for someone my size. Lets just see about that Louis (pronounced Lewis), one day at a time. Be aware though, my space bar is fucked. I may not be slurring. Necessarily. More about Louis later.
The fuel is the Vielle Fontaine. Its about 3 quid a bottle from Tesco direct (delivered) and quite a lot of it arrived on Saturday. The euphemism for drunk is brilliant... based on the regularly delivered comment 'Oh God I was awful last night' which is invariably negated by Darling (17 years marriage on Saturday but for God's sake don't tell him... its a tradition now, he forgets, I go even more mental) saying 'No my love,you were brilliant'. Of course, I know I was vulgar, seedy and out of control, but by saying that he saves us both a whole load of bother.
So, in the style of Robbie (ah, Robbie) let me, entertain you. I am a forty five year old mother of four (Boy 15, Girl 13, Girl 12, terrier 9) living in bosky Gloucestershire. I hate winter, wake up and dread the day, presently eating nothing, drinking like a fish and getting myself into a right old tangle on Facebook. Today I woke with the mother of all hangovers after a brilliant day yesterday during which I got up, cooked Sunday lunch for 9 (pathetic at this time of year I know, 22 was the average at the girl's lunch earlier) and then went into meltdown which ended with me being locked out of my hotmail account, giving my children my facebook password (o.f.f.s NO!) and leaving the cold water tap running all night after cleaning my teeth (award self house point for at least managing that). This is how it is round here guys. A bit of a mess. Laters. x