This not getting sloshed/applying the brakes mallarkey of my mentor Louis's has some interesting side effects. Firstly, it is truly wierd to lie in bed from 11pm to 2am, not sleeping, but not being that bothered. I remember my asking my Great Aunt ten years ago when she was dying if she would come back and haunt me. She said, no, but when I was curled up foetally in bed and unable to sleep, I should imagine her arms around me. She was a bit gross, physically, so I edit the image and take comfort from the idea.
And then to wake and think logical, ordered thoughts. Odd but good.
During the last few week we have worked out that there would need to be changes. One (which Louis didn't come up with because he is too polite) was that I should do more to help other people and stop being so infinitely selfish. On New Year's Day I received an e-mail asking if I would man the Safety Boat during Sailability sessions at the lake where I sail. Sailability is sailing for the disabled. I agreed very happily. What a great way to help out, zooming about in a speed boat and looking out for other people. One improvement in place.
Secondly, we decided that I should take more care of my muscles and bones and thirdly that I should try and mix with interesting creative people more often and stop sitting downing gallons of wine on my own every evening. Darling and I went out to see friends later on NYD for a Bloody Mary, and within moments of arriving two women I don't know bounced up to me and begged me to join their Pilates class. One was an artist, the other was a writer, and the Pilates teacher is a musician who used to be a rock star. Two and three. Bingo, I think. Bingo, I hope.
I went to Pilates today and managed not to fart or fall over. An improvement on the last six weeks already.